Saturday, March 5, 2016

New Product Line for Planned Parenthood

1. Add to the contract and release forms language that "in the event of death to the mother during the abortion process the body will be given to Planned Parenthood". Pitch to the patients how they will be "furthering Science and saving the lives of others"...


2. Monitor the transplant request list for high rollers who need a transplant.


3. If one of the "patients" is the right type to  meet the requirements for the high roller transplant, during the abortion procedure, just ease open a convenient artery and exsanguinate the mother. After cremation, no one will ever be able to see the incision.


4. Quickly harvest the organs and the fetus and fill out the paperwork for an immediate cremation. Run the organ to the airport for immediate flight to transplant site.  Do not pass go, but collect $200,000.
6. Run what's left to the local crematorium (with whom you have a volume discount).


5. Give the family and the boyfriend the "so unfortunate, nothing we could do" line, and show them the fine print as to custody of the body, give them the finger, and have the guards throw them out. (By the time their lawyers show, the cremation is long done).


7. Anyone who objects to this is a Neanderthal that is trying to impede science or a Christian terrorist. Healthy campaign contributions to local politicians should keep the heat off.

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