Saturday, February 1, 2014

Wives in the West

I read a "joke" in the Reader's Digest one time: a man had gotten a pay raise, promotion and a pat on the head for a recent project. He mentioned to his wife "few men can achieve something like this." To which she responded "Yeah, and you're not one of them!"

It's a testament to the position of men in our society that the editors of the Reader's Digest thought something like this was publishable! All wives in the west consider it their solemn duty to make sure their husbands are "kept in their place" and don't get "too uppity"! In short, to continually hen peck them to "make sure they don't get a "swelled head".  I have seen a couple of male responses to this:
  • In my mother's Christian Science Church in El Cajon, CA, all her girlfriends' husbands died  in their late 50's, death being the only acceptable escape from the continual humiliation and belittling. We're talking about over 10 men here!
  • Guys who are really successful can afford to change wives, finding a younger woman who appreciates them for the man they've become, rather than continually reminding them of the boy they once were.  This is where buying an expensive sports car comes in! It's something they've always had to deny themselves owing to spousal ridicule of their "midlife crisis". Yet young men cannot afford such toys!
The basic flaw in both approaches is "turning to the woman" for your validation as a man.  Masculinity is bestowed by other men, not a woman. And this is why men raised by single moms are "nice guys", but uncertain as to what it means to be a "real man".  This is why team sports, or military experience can be so important in the formulation of young men. That, and the willingness to let ourselves be fathered by our heavenly Father.

Once we get this straight, as the wife continually hammers on you, we understand that this is how her mother treated her father (more than likely). And this does NOT impact our sense of our masculine selves and we can love and support our wives and see through this toxic veneer that governs them.

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